The most surprising thing I learned from my time as a college athlete…
Learning to “Enjoy the Struggle”
A few years out from being a college athlete, a former teammate reached out to our group to describe why our program’s last championship season (my senior year) had meant so much to us. She wanted to share it with the younger players in the program to give them perspective. Below is what I wrote. I hope it encourages & gives perspective to those of you who are in the midst of your college athletics journey (and all the highs and lows that can come with it!)
I'm going to answer your question without reading the others' responses and with what comes straight "from my heart" (as totally cheesy as that sounds). I think that what made the 20** season so meaningful was the struggle that preceded it. When I walked into the locker room my freshman preseason, we had various inspirational quotes printed out on our lockers. One that ended up being a mantra for us was "Enjoy the Struggle." I think the quote came from a coach's wife from A*** and ***'s high school who was diagnosed with cancer and eventually lost that battle. From day one at **** State, this quote embodied what I would most "struggle" with... enjoying the struggle. When I saw the quote, I was immediately uncomfortable with it. I didn't want to struggle, let alone embrace it! Who does? I came to college to be successful, not struggle! I came to college to help my team be the best, but things went way differently than all of us had planned. I was shocked when, on the second day of preseason, I learned that our head coach would be leaving at the season’s conclusion. Everyone always said don’t make a college decision based on a coach, but you never think any of these warning will apply to YOU. We were supposed to be a crazy-talented team that year, but we proceeded to lose 11 straight games to start off the season, 6 to top 20 teams, and many by one goal. We even lost to some conference foes we never lost to. We went in with belief and came up short game after game. A week in a season can feel like a lifetime when you lose. It seemed like no matter what we did to get better in the practice week, winning eluded us. I was a freshman and my head was spinning.
My whole life I had basically done nothing but win, I had no playbook for this.
We all came to college to play field hockey and most of us do it with the desire to reach new heights of success and push ourselves and our teammates to greatness. But what happens when you are the farthest from being great? What happens when things aren't glorious? What happens when things are tough, people aren't getting along, people are getting in trouble because of bad off-field decisions, people seem not as dedicated as they should be, or not intense enough to handle the pressure at this level? What happens when, despite your best efforts, planning and preparation for success, you are struggling? What happens when you feel like you are giving everything possible and doing everything right, but everything is going wrong? And even tougher: What happens after you've gotten accustomed to success and just can't seem to find it. After that rocky 0-11 start my freshman year, we somehow had the storybook finish. We went on a run and won the rest of our games, earning conference championship rings. We overcame the adversity and disappointment of that awful start, had the magical season, and all that “struggle” seemed like a distant memory. I was on a mission to have four rings on my hand when my career was over. But, the next two years we couldn’t find that success despite our best efforts. We had new coaches, hiring decisions hadn’t made sense to us, there was new support staff all around our program, and every day was just HARD and felt unfair.
I think the glory of my experience at **** State was learning to appreciate success because of all of the failures and all of the disappointments.
There is nothing more humbling than losing over and over when you have the talent AND have put in all the work to win. There is nothing harder on a team than underachieving and struggling for every single goal when you are used to it coming together. Things are great when you win games. Everything has a way of clicking. When you are losing or not seeing results, EVERYTHING bad is magnified. You learn how easily some people choose negativity, excuses, and division. Winning a conference championship in 20** brought me to tears because of every early morning lift when one of my teammates almost gave up, every moment that I thought about leaving the team/school or giving up because of a coaching change we never asked for or the many other misfortunes that came about, every time we chose to support a teammate instead of giving up on her, every time our bodies were physically spent during a workout but we pushed through, every time someone was there for a teammate who had family or other problems outside of field hockey. We wouldn’t ask for certain things that happen once we step onto a college team, but it's about overcoming and most importantly finding a way to come together under the difficulty. That's what was so meaningful to me: all of the struggles that we went through could have torn us apart, but we chose to come together under them and lean on one another. We had to learn how to truly depend on one another because there were a lot of times it felt like all we had.
Success is an awesome band-aid for underlying problems. When there is a lack of success, the true heart of a team is exposed.
I came to ****State to continue a legacy of success, and for a time, that success disappeared despite every effort we made to regain it. I was so ecstatic that we finally brought ****’s program back to a conference championship and NCAA tourney my senior year, because so many people before us worked to put it there. They set a foundation of success that I was lucky enough to step into when I set foot on campus. It was humiliating to let all those people down. The moment we won the championship tears flowed (which wasn’t normal for me, I was a very stoic player), and my heart both leapt and broke at the same time. It leapt because I was so proud of what we were finally able to do after trying our hardest and coming up short in other years. It broke because of my former teammates in the stands watching or following online who went through all the same struggles right next to me and never got the glory. They didn’t get to raise the trophy, but our year did, not because we worked any harder than they did but because things just happened to work out that way. Sometimes it comes down to an inch or a lucky bounce.
My heart broke for all of those people who had to watch their hard work, sweat and tears help others get the glory.
I've learned so much through my time with you all at **** State ... and one thing is that things aren't always fair. In fact, sometimes fate is downright cruel. Sometimes you do everything you can and get nothing out of it, and sometimes success comes so easily that you don’t see it for the blessing that it is. Though I wouldn’t have chosen them, I am thankful for the hardships and difficulty because I truly learned to “enjoy the struggle” and put my faith in things bigger than me. I would never have been able to truly appreciate my final season and our championship if it hadn't been for all the tough times before it. And I would not have a bunch of lifelong sisters if we hadn't been through all the difficult things and really had to come together. Winning in 20** was about pride in our program, pride in ourselves, a deep love for each other, and respect for the tradition that came before us.
The great thing is that the story is not over yet...it never is. You all are continuing to write the next chapters and set the stage for the next generations.
It's easy to sit and count the rings on your fingers (or dwell on the lack of them), but it's actually about a lot more than rings and championships. You are showing young women what it means to be a part of the hallowed tradition of **** State Field Hockey. You only get four, maybe five years to write your chapter. And once it's done, you watch others flip the page on it and start a new one. Enjoy the small successes and the fact that you are leaving an impact on people that lasts a lifetime.
As tough as it is...
Don’t waste your time fighting this…
ENJOY THE STRUGGLE.
It makes the success that much sweeter.
